Yesterday we headed over to the San Mateo County Fair and as always we had some compilation of classic rock playing in the car. We were quietly singing along as the intro of Black Sabbath's Iron Man started playing.

Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all,
Or if he moves will he fall?

Eve asked Anupam, "Baba, is this Ozzy?"

Anupam is convinced that his job here is done.

Labels: Anupam, Eve, funny, Rock

Today I read an article in the NY Times about children wanting to be naked. One particular section in the article made me think about what my reaction would have been to this situation.

"Upon picking up her son, Hayden, from his friend’s house in Burlingame, Calif., last year, Rachael Dominguez, an optician, said she was stunned when the friend’s mom told her that Hayden, who turns 6 next month, was not welcome back because he had undressed and urinated in the yard. “She said, ‘I just think it’s a bad example for my children and I think he shouldn’t come over and do that anymore,’ ” said Ms. Dominguez, 42."

So there are two parts to the situation above.

a) Being naked
b) Urinating in the backyard

Lets deal with the second one first. For a child who is almost 6, urinating in someone else's backyard, certainly not acceptable. Ms. Dominguez needs to make sure that Hayden is made to understand that some he is (probably) allowed to do at home is not acceptable at other places. A non controversial example is that Hayden (or my kids) should not open someone else's fridge and help themselves to stuff without permission.

Next is the nudity. Well, the lady in Burlingame (very close to where I live actually) is overreacting. No kid would be scarred for life by seeing a naked body. If something in not acceptable in your home, make the rules very clear. If broken, let the child's mom know what is acceptable and figure out what needs to happen. Freaking out never helps.

So, now my thought about kids wanting to be naked and what people think. First there are two situations here. One is at home and the other is in public.

In a private situation, my kids can be naked for as long as they want, as long as that does not come in the way of any scheduling like heading off to school, the park... or just heading out. After a bath both the kids have "nangu time", translates to naked time. They run around, squealing, chasing each other and just having a good time. When I turn on the sprinklers in the backyard, Eve strips down before running around naked on the grass. Arjun can't be trusted to be naked for too long cause he pees/poops on the floor (twice so far) and stands there, points and it and says "Ooooh!". But he gets supervised naked time.

The next situation is with people at home. Well, it depends on the people, if it's relatives, it's all good. With other people, we haven't been in a situation too often. Eve used to bathe with her friend Eliana and then they would be naked, but that was a couple of years back. I don't think Eliana's parents thought anything about naked babies playing together.

The last situation is being in public. This one's tricky and has plenty of facets. One is the beach. I'm all for kids being naked in safe places. If someone else takes offense it is their puritanical obsession with sexuality and thereby child abuse. Anytime there is a discussion of children being nude in public, there is always a religious wing-nut who has something demented to say.

I also can't understand why people think that naked kids are more susceptible to sexual abuse. If that was true, we'd see the majority of sexual abuse incidents should be of the kids who were naked, and I'm pretty sure that is incorrect. Clothes don't magically stop child abuse. It's similar to what some idiots say about women who were dressed skimpily and was sexually assaulted... "She was just asking for it". The clothes have NOTHING to do with this kind of abuse, it the deviant who's responsible.

I am appalled that some would impose their own (skewed, misplaced) sexuality on pure beings. I want my children to be comfortable with their bodies. Let them run free and innocent.

Labels: Arjun, Eve, rant

Eve loves the smell of coffee. Whenever I make some, she runs over to sniff it. Sometimes she takes a bean to carry in her purse to smell during the day.

In case you haven't met her, this is Eve. She's 3.5 years old. Quite the rapscallion.



Earlier in the evening I was making dinner for everybody and as I was assembling the burgers, I heard Eve scream out and then whimper. I asked her what happened and she said that she was sniffing the coffee bean and sucked it up into her nostril. We could not see it lodged in there, so we tried to have her blow it out. No luck. Tricia called emergency care to figure out what we needed to do. While I went inside to get dressed and head off to the hospital with Tricia, I heard a loud cheer from Tricia and her mom.

Ran out to see a mucous-ey coffee bean sitting on the floor. Everybody looked really relieved and Arjun stopped looking so concerned. We asked her if she understood what had happened. She said:

I was sniffing the yummy coffee bean and it went up my nose all the way to my head. Then I sneezed it out.

Lesson learned. From now, she can only play with/sniff onions.

Labels: Coffee, Eve

I've been a dad for about 3.5 years. Watched one new born develop into a happy, fearless, loving and mostly courteous little girl. Next in line is a boy who is slowly turning into a toddler. He is quite loving too and hero worships his big sister.

Today I was listening to Neal Conan on "Talk of the nation". Today's topic was "Learning to be a Father" where the guest and callers spoke about the steep learning curve of being a dad. Also, this morning Tricia mentioned how Mukti was struggling(?) with being a new mom. Mukti assumed that it would be a lot easier for her than other people because she took care of Shay, my nephew from birth till she got married about a year or so back. Now, what I say "took care of Shay", I mean she helped my sister with many things and was there for her when needed most. My sister certainly appreciated the help. Also, I have been speaking to a colleague who is expecting triplets and Tricia and talk about how much work it could be...

All of these things made me think of how to try to raise two happy children. My hypothesis is that happy children make for well adjusted adults. So lets list it out.

1. Help them understand what is appropriate behavior.
Tantrums and meltdowns are common with kids that age. That is how they express their displeasure. I smile easily and often. I show them when I'm happy and hug them often. They see that and respond back. Sometimes they may not want to, I solider on. Usually, grumpiness loses.

2. Boredom is normal
I see parents put kids in front of the TV, game console & electronic toys that stop them from exploring. There are plenty of studies that prove that the child's development is being limited. But it's easy, right? What we did is put the trike, push car, easel and a few balls in the backyard. The kids go out there and ride, push, walk, paint, draw and so much more. You do not need to entertain them all the time, let them create their own entertainment. Arjun just sits on the lawn in the backyard and watches birds, chipmunks and airplanes. Only recently, can he tell the difference between the 3.

3. Involve them in "adult" work i.e. child labor
Eve is my little helper/slave when I do any work around the house, wash the car etc, edit home videos, work on my website, clean, do laundry and much more. She is thrilled to be a part of adult activities and tells Arjun, "When you're older, you can help too". She helps Tricia water the garden, plant new plants, fertilize and more. Of course stay safe, never have them help you around power tools or anything that has sharp edges or poison in it. Yup, follow your natural instinct.

4. Show 'em how happy you are to see them
As soon as I walk in the door after work, I make sure I go to them and give them a hug, kisses and ask them what they did. It's not always easy because I'm obsessive compulsive and need to put my stuff in the right place. Make sure the living room is cleaned up etc. But, they are much more important.

5. Friday night is sleep with Mama/Baba night
Eve looks forward to Friday when she can sleep with us. It's a special little thing we do to make her feel special. Plus, I love seeing her little sleeping body next to us.

6. Not all entertainment happens outside home
We make sure that we do interesting things at home and involve them in it. For example, for our anniversary, we made sure that they were involved in the candle light dinner. It was a special night for her. She also helps us cook, paint and other things that will entertain her. This sounds a lot like #3, but here we are doing entertaining things rather than chores.

7. She makes some rules
This one we've not quite implemented but are working towards. One of her rules is that she must go with me if I decide to go pick up bagels for breakfast on a weekend. I don't want to be the overbearing parent who makes all the rules, I want them to think about rules they can set, that we follow.

8. I let them know that they are more important than work
I work from home on Fridays and try to make sure that I spend time with them over lunch and during the day when I would normally take breaks at work. They like to sit on my lap in the office chair as I spin around. All they need is 5 minutes and they are ready to continue with the rest of the day. Similarly, I don't touch my laptop after I get home from work and till they go to bed.

9. Create special things to do
I'm quite a bit nuttier than Tricia and I do oddball things most of the time. This usually involves the kids. We listen to rock from the 70's & 80's and I teach them the words. Not so much Arjun yet. So, she can now sing a bunch of weird songs like "Mr. Roboto" and "Bicycle" Race". I love it, they will be "those" kids. Plus, I do a lot of horsing around and they love it.

These are things that work for me. Other things work for Tricia. Maybe she will write about how she raises such happy children considering she does 80% of the raising. I just show up to take the glory and grill some meat.

Labels: Arjun, Eve, Musing, Parenting

When we drive anywhere, the kids get kid music about 40% of the time. The rest of the time is either spent on KQED(NPR) or some rock compilation MP3 disk in the CD changer. But here is the thing, I change CDs perhaps quarterly, if that. Eve hates the radio because Tricia and I stop talking and immediately listen very intently, ignoring everything else. What can I say, we're news junkies.

So a couple of days back, we were sitting at the dining table. The kids were waiting for me bring lunch to the table. I heard Eve quietly singing to herself like she does all the time. This time it sounded a little different and very familiar. So, I stopped what I was doing and started listening to her as unobtrusively as possible.

She was leafing through Tricia's "Master Swim" magazine and singing :

"Keep on rockin' in the free world,
Keep on rockin' in the free world"


It became obvious we listen to too much 80's rock. It also became clear that she actually listens and processes things sitting quietly in the back. Later that day I heard her sing "Beds are burning" by Midnight Oil.

Rock and roll baby!

Labels: Eve, Music, Rock, Singing

I was at my desk reviewing a document when I saw the new mail notification popup. Tabbed over to my mail and saw this picture



Eve's teacher Simone, sent an email to all the parents of the "Egel" group telling us about their library visit.

"Yesterday we went to the school library for the first time and had a fantastic time (see picture). Due to our two-days-a-week schedule we won't be able to visit the library on a regular basis and won't check out any books to take home, yet. However, some children really would have liked to borrow one or two books. We told them that they could ask you to go there together with them. Opening hours are from 8:30 am - 1pm daily and until 3pm on Mondays and Fridays. Too bad that it is not open after school on our Igel-days.

Please note that Tuesday will be our Crazy Hair Day and that on Thursday a Parent Evening is offered. Have a terrific weekend!"

Now, isn't that a nice distraction?

Labels: Eve, GAIS, school

Eve and I wait at JFK for our flight to Bombay. She's strapped to her carseat so she can't escape. Ah the joys of parenthood!

Labels: Bombay, Eve, JFK, Vacation

Today is the day! Eve has finally shed being a baby and is now officially a young lady.

She got her big girl bed and slept in it for the first time. She loves her white wrought iron bed. Infact she helped choosing a bed by jumping on all the beds in the store.

Labels: bed, Eve

 
 
 
 

Labels: Eve, football, soccer

We went camping in the Santa Cruz are in this very pretty State Park. We had the Kayla, Mary and Steve Flowers, Madeline, Ashia, and Don Mann, Eliana, Rachael and Jonah Wong and the Mittras. It was a long weekend and this was probably going to be our last chance to camp with the kids.



Don brought 8 pounds of bacon. Yes sir. 8 lbs.

The Flowers are vegetarian.

The Manns, Wongs and us ate all the bacon over 3 breakfasts, then we saved all the bacon fat to make grilled cheese sandwiches.

The Steve said that he had never been as repulsed by food as he had been over the weekend.



This trip also had a couple of other firsts. We had just bought our first bike rack for the car. Our first baby carrier for Trish's bike and our first trip with bikes on the car.

All of this meant that this was going to be Eve's first bike ride. She loved it. Tricia and I rode with Eve up and down the paths around the campsite. She was so happy in her helmet.



I took a shower after getting home. I kid you not, the entire shower was smelling like bacon. It was awesome.

Labels: bacon, bike, Eve